When You Just Have To Be Right… Christian Movies

I’ve mentioned before that I didn’t grow up in the church. I’ve never been like, an altar boy, or the pastor’s favorite. That wasn’t my life, and I have my mother to thank for that. I can’t imagine what my existence would be like if my split from religion was nearly as painful as some of the stories I’ve heard. For me I just woke up one day and decided to be salty on the internet.

That said, I’ve put up with a fair bit of Christian related entertainment throughout my days. Most of this was through the Lifetime channel, but that is just the tip of the Made-for-TV-movie iceberg. 

I’ll note right now that I don’t see a lot of harm in Christian entertainment. Actually, I find it kind of amusing. If you’ve been in America long enough you’ve probably heard whispers, whether joking or from actual wingnuts, that the Jewish people control the media and negatively influence society through it. Considering the percentage of Christians in this country, and the sheer number of movies they create every year to celebrate their own religion, I can’t help but imagine people wearing tinfoil hats when they say the media is anti-Christian.

It is hard to make it through the year without watching some movie with at least a small Christian message to it, especially since Christmas is a thing. This isn’t bad though, this is just a matter of audiences getting what they want. If more than 50% of your audience can be pleased by having an angel give a woman a backrub, you better hand that angel some KY because things are about to get slippery. That is how business works.

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We’ve come to the point where big movie releases, like the upcoming Noah, can just scoop up biblical stories and mutate them for the audience that wants to feel a little biblical, but also wants to see someone be impaled. Some kid is going to see this movie as an action flick, in the way that I watched movies like Terminator, and it will be a formative part of their youth. That is strange to me.

I’m pretty sure the most impact Christian imagery had on the movies of my childhood was watching Nick Cage be a creeper in City of Angels.

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Actually, this could explain a lot about my childhood, and dealings with women.

Still, the untold story here is that these movies create an atmosphere with one religion prominent. Sure the angels in City of Angels are a little on the Edward Cullen side, but it makes a nice stepping stone for a parent to justify real angels to their kid. Sure Noah probably wasn’t as undeniably handsome as our friend Russel Crowe, but he makes a better story than pseudo-moses building an impossible boat to house varying numbers of animals. It is pervasive. That isn’t me being angry or annoyed by it, just stating the fact. When you grow up watching movies where squeezing your cross real hard and holding on to your good Christian values saves the day, you don’t see much of a need to question that attitude. 

I wish this was a conspiracy, but it is just good old hollywood fun. It helps highlight that even the figures we respect, great actors and directors, are likely Christian. They enjoy these messages, and will create shows/movies/video games/snappy post cards with that imagery implanted. Even if they aren’t, the population of our world will, on average, respond better to a Christian message. 

Heck, even I’ve made use of this fact.

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